It's All A Mess
by erinski
Summary: Taking off from when Riley left to go to the military. Buffy's hurting and Spike, the vampire who may have a sliiight thing for her, is there to try pick up the pieces. Should Buffy let him?
1. It's Your Mess To Sort Out

_I loved the episode where Riley left for the military after Buffy found out he was basically going to vampires and having them suck his blood. But I think this is what should have happened after he'd gone and Buffy didn't catch him in time. Spike is in this, he's my favourite character, for his attitude and humour, not just because he looks like Billy Idol. _

**Oh no it's all a mess  
>Dont know if I should undress<br>The wounds you want to caress  
>I made it to the other side <strong>

**-**_My Vampire, Soho Dolls_

She walked down the street towards her house, her arms crossed over her body, trying to keep warm. The moonlight shone down on her and the stars were lit up in the sky, yet she didn't notice. Buffy felt too numb to notice anything right now.  
>Riley had left. She had <em>seen<em> him leave. He hadn't seen her.  
>She had ran, faster than she had ever ran before, cursing and crying as her legs powered through, racing to catch him before he left on that helicopter. She had run for love. She just hadn't been fast enough.<br>A cry caught in her throat. Buffy had lost Riley forever. He wouldn't know how she felt. He'd still think she was angry at him, unforgiving. But that wasn't the case at all.  
>She reached her house and stopped outside the front door. She would go inside, retire to her bed and sleep, forgetting about this whole night and wake up the next morning feeling more worse than ever.<br>Slowly, she reached out and turned her key in the lock and entered. The house was dark, her mother wasn't awake. Obviously. It was 12.30am, her mom was usually in bed by ten.  
>Buffy trudged up the stairs, trying to stop herself from shaking. A floorboard creaked.<br>Entering her bedroom, she made her way to the ensuite bathroom. She looked in the mirror._  
>Oh God, I look like death.. <em>she thought as she studied her reflection. Her hair was windswept, her face streaked with makeup after the tears she had shed.  
>Another floorboard creaked.<br>On instinct, Buffy tensed. The house could probably just be moving. Or maybe it was a bloodsucker, waiting to kill her. One could never be too wary.  
>In a swift movement, Buffy reached into the bathroom cupboard and grabbed the stake she kept on reserve. She may look like death but she sure as hell wasn't going to end up in its clutches.<br>She threw open the door out to her bedroom, ready to break loose.  
>"Excuse me, that's a rude way to greet your guests!"<br>Standing by her bedroom door, in his leather jacket, was Spike. His bleach blonde hair was slicked back as always, his cheekbones sharply pointed.  
>Buffy slowly brought the stake back down. "You could have knocked."<br>"I prefer the element of surprise. But now I guess I'll be more careful," he quipped. He made his way over to her bed and sat down. He looked so out of place in her bedroom. Buffy ran a hand through her hair and sniffed.  
>"You've been crying," Spike announced. Buffy rolled her eyes.<br>"Yeah, so? It's not the end of the world."  
>Spike frowned. "It must be for you, your makeup's all over the place."<br>"Well, excuse me while I make myself look more presentable for your Lordship," she snapped. Spike closed his eyes, regretting saying anything. Buffy put the stake back in her bathroom cupboard and came back to find him reading a copy of one of her old magazines.  
>"Wow. Never took you for the girly type," she said dryly. Spike threw it away from him.<br>"If you're crying over that idiot of a boy, you're deluded," he told her.  
>Buffy didn't say anything. She knew Spike and Riley had never got on. Riley had always felt threatened by him, while Spike had.. well, she didn't know.<br>"Buffy, he was going to vampires and-"  
>"I <em>know<em> what he was doing!" she interrupted, frustrated.  
>He went quiet.<br>"He's left, hasn't he?" he asked softly. Buffy looked at him in surprise. She had never heard Spike talk so tenderly, so gently, before.  
>"M-Maybe," she stammered. "He's gone to the military. No contact with civilians. He left before I could change his mind."<br>Spike nodded. He thought for a moment. What could he say to her to make her feel better?  
>Nothing came to mind.<br>Buffy rubbed her eyes.  
>"You could say maybe it's for the best," Spike said. Buffy shrugged. "Maybe. Still hurts."<br>Spike sighed and stood up. He stood over her, six feet of him. "I don't like you hurting," he murmured. The piercing blue of his eyes stared into hers, taking her in. Buffy held his gaze.  
>"The slayer should never be hurt," he continued, "You should never hurt."<br>"I'm hurting right now," Buffy whispered.  
>"Don't," he whispered back.<br>His lips touched her forehead. Dear God, his lips were soft. Buffy bit her lip, trying to hold back her tears, but to no avail. They trickled down her cheeks. Spike caught them with his fingers, his fingertips hot against her skin. He kissed them away. Buffy knew this shouldn't be happening. She had to stop this. But she couldn't.  
>Something about Spike made her not want to stop this. Her lips found his and she kissed him. Spike nearly came off balance. He hadn't expected her to respond in this way.<br>He didn't want her to hurt. Maybe he could help her feel better. Their kiss became more fierce, his hands tangled in her hair, holding her to him. She clutched his shoulders, feeling the muscle underneath his shirt. Spike brought her legs up around his waist, lifting her up against the wall. He had wanted her for a long time. Riley had always ensured he never got her, but now Riley was gone. He couldn't stop him.  
>"S-S-Spike, we should stop-"<br>"No!" he cut her off, his lips still on hers. "You know you don't want to."  
>She answered by pulling him in closer to her. His scent, his body, his <em>voice<em>, made her want him. She needed him right now. She needed his closeness, his laughter.  
>She loved him.<br>But she also loved Riley._  
>Riley.<em>  
>No. She couldn't do this. Yet she found herself now on her bed, with the bleach blonde vampire above her, kissing her neck.<br>No.  
>She loved Spike but this couldn't happen. Not now. Not on the night that Riley left.<br>"SPIKE, NO!" she shouted out, throwing him off her. He landed on the floor.  
>"What?" he yelled in shock.<br>"We can't do this! Not with him gone. You shouldn't have kissed me! I'm hurting and you took advantage of that!"  
>Her words echoed in the air.<br>Buffy wished she hadn't said it. The hurt expression on Spike's face showed her that she was wrong. He hadn't wanted to take advantage of her._  
>I just love you<em>, his eyes said.  
>Tears pricked Buffy's eyes. "Oh god.. this is a mess.." she whispered.<br>Spike stood up, arranging his jacket.  
>"It's your mess to sort out," he snapped. "Get yourself together, Buffy. I wanted to be there for you but you won't let me. I give up. Maybe I'll see you when you're out killing one of my bloodsucker friends."<br>He stalked out the door, leaving her alone on her bed. The scent of him still hung in the air.  
>Buffy had never felt so alone in her life.<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

_That night, I slept on your side of the bed;_

_So it was ready when you got home;_

_We're like noughts and crosses in that_

_Opposites always attract._

_- _**Always Attract, You Me At Six**

She tossed and turned, gripping her pillow with her hands. The dreams were coming.

_Spike telling her there was something she had to see._

_The "abandoned" warehouse._

_The vampires sucking on humans._

_The humans letting them._

_Riley letting one female vampire suck his blood._

"_Harder," he'd ordered. _

_He had been enjoying it, wanting it. _

_He didn't need Buffy. _

Buffy's eyes shot open. Her breathing was irregular, coming out in gasps. Sweat covered her body. It was okay. She was in her bedroom, alone, the dreams were gone.

Riley was gone. He only appeared in her dreams with that vampire. Buffy was the Slayer, she knew she could easily kill that vampire if she wanted to. Yet she couldn't. Something about that vampire made her think twice.

Luckily, Buffy didn't think twice about every other vampire she met. Getting out of the bed, struggling due to the twisted covers, she pulled off her pyjamas and got dressed. She was going out patrolling.

Spike hid behind the tree as he saw Buffy exit the house.

He often did this. He'd stand behind the tree outside the house and smoke around twenty cigarettes, stubbing them out every so often and lighting up a new one. The tree stood directly underneath Buffy's bedroom window, so he could see every action if the light was turned on inside. Buffy brushing her hair, Buffy hanging out with her sister Dawn, Buffy getting dressed, Buffy getting _undressed._

Spike cleared that image from his mind. He'd only been lucky enough to see it _once. _If Spike had his way, he'd have liked to see her naked more often, but noooo, Miss High & Mighty had to always fight with him, or argue, or ignore him. Only once in a blue moon did they ever share something nice.

_Like last night.._ Spike thought bitterly, thinking of the way they'd kissed and she had pulled him in closer to her. Spike knew she couldn't deny their attraction.

He watched Buffy walk off into the night and nodded. She was going patrolling. Good to know that Buffy's world didn't stop turning when sleazebags like Riley didn't show her the love she deserved.

Oh God, he was getting all deep now.

He wanted to head to the cemetery where Buffy would be killing all his bloodsucker friends but he knew that wouldn't be a good idea. Not after last night, when Buffy had pushed him away at the last minute and he'd stormed out in a strop.

Sighing, he lit another cigarette. He would wait for her here, underneath this tree.

"Did you _really_ think that would hurt?" Buffy asked. The vampire looked at her confused. How could it not hurt? She was hanging upside down from a tree branch.

Before he could react, Buffy kicked her legs back and somersaulted backwards through the air, landing steadily on her feet. In a swift movement, she performed a roundhouse kick, sending him flying to the ground.

"Betcha didn't see that one coming!" Buffy laughed, before punching him in the face. The vamp grabbed her by the shoulders and threw her away from him. The next sixty seconds consisted of constant punching and high-kicks, complete with a couple of "HI-YAHS!" from Buffy. She was quite vocal when fighting.

She jumped up, grabbed hold of his arms and did what seemed to be a handstand on top of his shoulders. She brought herself down powerfully, kicking him painfully in the stomach as her legs gave way towards him.

"SHIT!" the vampire yelled. Filled with rage, he punched her, grinning when he heard a bone crack. His hands were now relentless. No Slayer was going to kill him. He continued to hit her, enjoying her gasps of pain as his fists did the talking. Then he lifted her up and threw her away from him, where her head slammed against a headstone.

She was unconscious.

The vampire would live to see another bloody day. He laughed and sauntered off, leaving Buffy out cold.

Spike knew something was wrong. It had been an hour. Buffy was usually done with vampires in half that time.

He also knew something was wrong when he noticed a particular vampire laughing to himself as he walked down the street past Buffy's house, heading further into Sunnydale.

"Oh no.." Spike whispered. He threw his just lit cigarette on the ground, not bothering to stub it out, and began running in the direction of the cemetery.

_If anything's happened to her, I won't be able to live with it.. _he thought to himself as he ran. He was quick and strong, so he reached the cemetery in five minutes. Mist covered the entrance and the trees were bare. Pretty scary place, if Spike didn't happen to be a vampire and didn't live in a crypt.

He walked through, looking around, trying to find the figure of Buffy lying somewhere.

The only sound he could hear was the sound of an owl up in the trees.

"Buffy, where are you?" Spike murmered.

He didn't have to look far. He spotted her immediatly, lying underneath a headstone that had a statue of an angel on top of it, arms outstretched. "Oh God!" he let out a strangled gasp. He ran forward, getting closer to her.

She was lying there, eyes closed, on her side in the foetal position. Apart from a few grazes, she looked fine. Until Spike gently placed a hand under her head and felt the blood.

On his knees now, he gathered her up in his arms. He could feel her heartbeat. Spike let out a sigh of relief. She was okay.

"Buffy, it's okay.." he whispered. "I'm going to get you home and you're gonna be alright. Get a few stitches on you. Jesus.."

He lifted her up and her head lolled into the crook of his neck. Spike closed his eyes, trying to ignore the feel of her lips on his skin. He was probably one of the few to get this close to Buffy, yet still feel so distant.

He walked gently across the cemetery towards the exit. The mist and darkness was starting to creep him out. Spike made sure to cover the crack in her skull where the blood was slowly seeping out from.

Spike headed in the direction of his crypt. Buffy may have had house keys, but he didn't fancy looking through her pockets or whatever to get them. If she woke up and found him doing that, god he wouldn't live to see the next day. Besides, she'd been to his crypt on numerous occasions. _It's like a second home to her,_ he joked silently to himself. His attention came back to Buffy when he felt her body move in his arms. Her breathing became more shallow.

"S-S-Spike?.."

Spike gulped, feeling her lips move against his neck.

"Yes, it's me, Buffy."

"I thought so..", she whispered. "Your skin smells of you."

Spike bit his lip, trying so hard not to be proud of the fact that she knew exactly what he smelled like.

"I'm taking you back to my place, okay? I'll fix you up there. You got quite a bump to the head, love."

Buffy nodded then let out a gasp.

Spike grimaced. "Told you."

To his surprise, she settled into his arms. "I thought you were mad at me," she muttered, her face still burrowed into his neck.

"I was. Doesn't mean I wouldn't go out and retrieve you from that bloody cemetery."

"How did you know I was there?"

Spike stayed silent.

"You still watch me from under that tree, don't you?"

Her voice wasn't accusing. She said it softly, as if she couldn't believe it.

Spike cleared his throat. "Erm, sometimes. I just like to know if you're safe, that's all."

_And I like to watch you sometimes, doing whatever mindless activity you feel like doing. _

Buffy arranged herself, so she was snuggled in closer. Spike felt like screaming. _Why do you always torture me like this?_

"You smell nice, Spike," she whispered.

When he looked down at her, he noticed she was now asleep, her breathing regular.

Her lips still against his neck.


	3. Chapter 3

_I was swimming in the Caribbean  
>Animals were hiding behind the rocks<br>Except a little fish, but they told me  
>He swears he was trying to talk to me, to me<br>Where is my mind?  
>Where is my mind?<br>Where is my mind? _

**-Where Is My Mind, Emily Browning feat Yoav**

The pain hit her first when she woke up. It was a searing pain in the back of her head, as if a blade had struck her. After the pain came a sort of thumping, like a heart struggling to beat normally. She could feel sweat covering her body, all damp and hot. Buffy's eyes adjusted and she could see a glow of a candle showing itself through the darkness. Heavy, velvet covers weighed down on her legs. Clearly she was on a bed. Buffy sat up and went to get out but something held her back. Slowly, she turned.

Spike was sleeping beside her, his arms wrapped around her waist. It was as if he was trying to protect her. Buffy looked down at him and couldn't deny his rugged attractiveness. His arms adjusted and tightened their grip on her, still protecting.

_It's not your job to protect me.._ Buffy thought. The sweat and the weight of the covers were getting to her. The feel of Spike's arms around her was getting to her. The fact they were lying on a coffin and not a _bed_ was getting to her. She was back in Spike's arms, back in the darkness of his crypt, back with the vampire. _That_ was getting to her. Filled with revulsion, she broke free of his grasp and struggled off the coffin. Standing in the crypt, Buffy couldn't help but feel weak. Why did she always end up here? What had even happened last night?

"We haven't slept together.." she assured herself. "I've still got clothes on. It's fine." She noticed Spike was shirtless, as soon as she'd thought about clothing. She tried hard not to look at his rock hard stomach. She shouldn't be thinking about him like that. Not two days after Riley had gone.

_But you always think about Spike like that, _a voice in her head whispered.

No I don't.

_You can't fight your feelings for the vampire. No matter how hard you try, he always manages to get inside your head._

No, YOU'RE inside my head.

The voice sniggered. _True. But Spike is in your head in more ways than that. You think about him, you see him and you have to have him. _

Well I'm seeing him now and I'm not exactly having the urge to jump on him.

_You woke up beside him, didnt you?_

We hadn't done anything.

_But you still woke up beside him. _

"SHUT UP!" Buffy screamed.

"What the HELL?"

Buffy wished she hadn't broke down because now Spike was awake and staring at her like she was a crazy person.

Maybe she was crazy. She had a voice in her head.

"Buffy, are you okay? You look a little.. peaked."

She averted her glance when he sat up and the covers slipped down, showing more of his upper body. "I'm fine," she bit off.

_No you're not.._

"Stop it.." Buffy whispered. Spike frowned. "Stop what?"

Buffy blinked and looked at him. "Not you."

"Pet-"

"Don't call me that! I don't know how I ended up here! I don't know how I ended up waking up beside you. I do NOT have feelings for you, no matter what the voice says-"

"The voice?"

Buffy cursed. Now she really did look like a crazy person.

"Buffy, the voice? There's a voice?"

"Look, I'm gonna go. I don't want to see you." She turned to leave.

"Buffy, if there's a voice... that's not good."

His voice was one of concern. Only Spike would believe her about voices. He was a vampire, a creature that was supposed to be of myth. Voices in this world weren't uncommon.

He continued. "You can talk to me Buffy. I don't judge."

"I can't talk to you, Spike!" Buffy burst out. "Everytime I do.. well, it always ends badly for me. Not so much for you, but bad for me!"

"That's not harsh at all," Spike answered sarcastically. Buffy glared at him. "Leave me alone, Spike. You're just confusing me."

_You're not confused at all._

It's voice was laced with venom.

"Shut up, shut up.." Buffy muttered. Spike frowned and got up off the coffin. He was still wearing black jeans, thank God. Slowly, he walked over to Buffy whereupon she backed away.

"No, no love.." Spike murmured. Gently, he placed his hands on the sides of her head.

"W-What are you doing?"

"Just looking for something.."

Buffy trembled under his touch. His hands found their way to the back of her head.

"Ow!"

"Found it," Spike said. He stood behind her, inspecting her head. "It still looks a little sore," he muttered. "The swelling's gone down. The stitches I gave you are still intact-"

"Stitches? W-W-What?"

Spike sighed. "I gave you stitches last night. I found you in the cemetery unconscious. A vampire had knocked you out. You hit your head off a headstone..can see why headstones are given that name now.." he said with a slight chuckle.

"I hit my head? You f-found me?" Buffy couldn't believe it.

"Yeah. I knew something was wrong. That's why you're here. I was looking after you."

Something filled Buffy's heart.

_You feel it now, don't you?_

The voice was mocking her.

Buffy wrenched herself away from Spike. "I'm going," she announced. Spike nodded, not bothering to try and talk her out of it. He knew she'd had enough of him for one day.

_That's right, walk away from him like you always do._

"Shut up, just shut up.." she whispered.

She ignored the look of worry on Spike's face. Pulling on her leather jacket, she stormed out the crypt and back into the daylight.

Buffy stormed into the Magic Box.

"Woah, be more angry?" Xander joked. He was sitting by the counter with Willow, while Anya was counting the money from the cash register.

Buffy ignored him and paced the floor. The voice had taunted her as she'd walked away from Spike's crypt, saying things like she was a "coward" and that she wasn't "brave enough to stand up and listen to her feelings." It had only shut up when she'd entered the shop.

"Um, Buffy? Are you okay?" Willow asked. "Dawn was a little worried, you didn't come home last night."

Shit, Dawn.

"I'm fine. I WAS fine..."

_You're a bad liar._

"Shut up!" Buffy gasped.

Everyone stared at her. "We didn't say anything," Xander said slowly.

Buffy's heart hammered against her chest. "W-W-Willow? Can you find a spell about warding off voices?"

Willow's eyes widened. Anya stopped counting her money.

"Voices?" Willow managed to say.

"Yeah, voices. I've got one. It keeps saying things to me."

"Such as?" Xander prompted.

"That I'm a coward and I'm weak and I don't face up to my feelings-"

"Feelings about what?"

Buffy stopped. "Erm.. feelings about... just general feelings."

The others nodded, pityingly. Buffy realised they thought she meant Riley.

Of course I meant Riley, she thought to herself.

Willow stood up and walked over to the bookshelf, looking for a book that would give her the right spell. She picked out a book with gold pages. "This should have something.."

Buffy nodded. The sooner as this voice was gone, the better.

_Ahaaa, but you can't get rid of me._

"Go away," Buffy spat.

Xander tried to control the fear he was feeling. Voices weren't normal. They weren't common.

_I'm inside your head. I know what you're thinking, feeling. I know everything. I know your friends, your enemies, your lovers. Especially your lovers. I'll stay here and plague your mind. I can make you do things you don't want to. You're used to killing off vampires- a voice you can't kill. Isn't that just good for me?_

Buffy clutched her head.

"Buffy?" Anya said warily. Buffy bit her lip and tried to ignore more of the voice's taunts. This wasn't right. She had to escape it. But she didn't know how.

_"I have to show you something".  
>She had followed him. He had led her to this place she'd never been before. Vampires sucked the blood of humans in the darkness.<br>Riley.  
>"Harder," Riley had ordered his vampire.<br>He was willingly letting a vampire suck his blood.  
>He was going behind Buffy's back.<em>

Buffy woke up in a cold sweat. She was used to waking up all sweaty these days. Her bedroom light was still on and the clock said 9:14pm. She must have fallen asleep by mistake when she'd arrived home from the Magic Box. A sense of unease surrounded Buffy and she had to stand up to regain some control. The voice wasn't saying anything. Yet the dream of Riley and the vampire haunted her still.  
>She went downstairs, hearing Willow and Xander in the kitchen.<br>"I'm just saying, spells aren't the only way to get something done, Wil," Xander was saying.  
>"But they're quicker!" Willow argued back.<br>They went silent when they saw Buffy enter. "Hey guys," Buffy greeted them.  
>Xander smiled. "You okay now, Buffster?"<br>"Yup."  
>"No more voices?"<br>"Nope."  
><em>That's what you think...<em>  
>Buffy paled in an instant. "It's-It's back," Buffy whispered. Willow got up from her chair and started over to Buffy. She grabbed her hands. "Buffy, don't listen to it. It's not real. Everything it says is fake. There is NOTHING in your head."<br>Buffy pushed her away. Willow and Xander didn't understand.  
>"I need to go- I need to go NOW. I need to.. go out. The club. I need to go there."<br>"We're coming with you," Xander replied, already grabbing his jacket. Buffy didn't wait. She was already out the house by the time Willow and Xander locked the front door behind them.

The music got to Buffy instantly. As soon as she entered, the music led her to the dancefloor, where she swayed and raised her slender arms in the air, her eyes closed. She could forget. She could forget about Riley, about the voice, about Spike, about everything. She could just dance.  
>Xander collected their drinks while Willow watched Buffy without blinking.<br>"This doesn't look good.." Willow whispered.  
>"I think she looks pretty good, if I'm honest," a male English voice replied.<br>Willow turned to look into the face of Spike. He looked down at Willow with an amused look.  
>"Not now, Spike," Willow groaned. She wasn't sure of her opinion of him: one minute he was helping Buffy and being all nice, the next he was arrogant, sarcastic and a vampire.<br>"Is the bump on her head alright?" he asked. Willow frowned. "The bump on her head?"  
>"Yeah, the one she got when she was knocked out by a vamp. Hit her head off a headstone, I had to give her stitches."<br>Willow was bewildered. "She never told me about a bump... she only talked about a voice."  
>Spike's lips set in a thin line. "She's still going on about the voice?"<br>Willow nodded. "But I'm pretty sure it's just Buffy acting weird."  
>"You <em>would<em> think that," Spike muttered. Willow decided to ignore that last comment, unsure whether he was being deliberatley bitchy.  
>She turned to look at Buffy again. Buffy was dancing as she had been, her hips snaking from side to side, her halterneck top inching up just a fraction to show a slice of toned stomach. Spike had clearly noticed this as he was now striding over to where Buffy was. Willow groaned and wished Spike wasn't so damn confusing when it came to his feelings for Buffy.<p>

She felt his hands on her hips. Without needing to open her eyes, Buffy knew it was Spike. The smell of him was so familiar.  
><em>Of course you know his smell, you've woken up next to him.<br>_Buffy ignored the voice, as she had been doing the entire time she was dancing. She could feel Spike's hot breath against her ear, his finger as he curled a tendril of her hair. His hands made their way to the bottom of her back, holding her closer to him.  
><em>Yes, just let the vampire hold you. You know you want it.<br>_She ignored the voice again, refusing to be sucked into its horrible mindgames. The music continued, its trance, hypnotic rhythm surrounding her. Buffy let her hands wander up Spike's chest, feeling the muscle underneath the black shirt he always wore. His breath caught and he grabbed her hands, holding them in his tight.  
><em>You're letting him love you.<br>_Spike's hands tangled in her blonde hair. He wanted her. Oh, how he wanted her. His lips found their way to her neck and taking a chance, he kissed the skin. Buffy let out a sigh as she felt his kiss.  
><em>The neck. Where the vampire takes his blood and if he wants to, a life. A vampire's kiss. You're letting the vampire love you. You want him to love you, Buffy. Riley didn't love you, he never did. The vampire does. The vampire wants every part of you. You're letting him love you and it's killing him. You're killing him. Riley killed you after what he did, its only fair that you kill the vampire. Kill its soul. Riley and Buffy are no more-<br>_Buffy's eyes shot open. "SPIKE!" she shouted, pushing him away from her.  
>"What? Love, what's wrong? Your eyes are all wide-"<br>"I'm killing you," Buffy choked. Spike frowned, his mouth gaping. "What?"  
>"By loving me, you're killing yourself. The voice-"<br>"The bloody voice is still at it?" Spike hissed. "Buffy, this isn't good. What else has it been telling you?"  
>Buffy pushed past him, needing air. Her chest felt tight. She couldn't breathe. She was close to hyperventilating. Spike grabbed her arms, pushing her back. "Buffy, don't go like this. Ignore the voice. I'm going to help you."<br>Her breaths became more rapid. She clutched at her throat. "I can't b-b-breathe!" she struggled to say. Spike's eyes widened in worry. "Come with me," he murmured. Gently, he took her hand and guided her through the crowd. He led her through the back entrance, towards the park. "Calm down Buffy, you're safe.." Spike whispered, his voice assuring and patient. He was beyond shocked when Buffy broke down in tears in front of him.  
>"Help me Spike!" she wailed. "This voice- it's so horrible! It won't let me go! It keeps saying things about me, about Riley, about you-"<br>"Hey, shh shh shh.." Spike whispered, taking her in his arms. He cradled her head as she sobbed louder. Her entire body shook in despair.  
>She looked up at him, eyes bloodshot. "Am I going crazy?"<br>Spike held her tighter. "You're never crazy, Buffy. We're going to fight this thing." 


End file.
